firstsaderesponder | overflow for mayoninofukucho @ vampire meme

[Hijikata gets the hint. He gets up as soon as Sougo lets go of him and looks back at him with his hand on the doorframe.]

...

[Saying sorry now wouldn't make Sougo happy.]

Sleep well, Sougo.

[Sougo won't even reply. Hijikata right now, isn't worthy of any replies from him. This guy always shows up and thinks he can butt into everything. And now, all Sougo wanted to be was alone. Even though he didn't mind being with Kondou, he wants to rest, to forget about everything. He further sinks into his blanket and turns over to face away from the entrance.

As much as Sougo always tried to kill Hijikata, there was a certain amount of trust the sadist had in the vice-chief. Sure, Sougo always says he's the worst, but they're comrades, their bond forged through years of just being stuck with each other. Hijikata has proven his worth to Sougo many times: Hijikata had confronted Mitsuba's fiancee by himself for the sake of both the Okita siblings. Hijikata had stuck by Sougo even in a Death Game (while fake, it still counts for something). As much as Hijikata would yell and bitch at Sougo, Sougo thought Hijikata would never mean to seriously hurt him. Guess he thought wrong.]

[Hijikata quietly closes the door behind him. He stays on the veranda for a moment and takes a deep breath - muscle memory, like so many things. He doesn't really need to breathe anymore, does he? He takes out his mayonnaise bottle lighter and cigarettes (his body doesn't really need this anymore either, but his mind does). For him it's still early; his work shift only just started... but he can tell that he'll have trouble focusing tonight. For as much of a pain in the ass as Sougo is to deal with on a daily (now nightly) basis, for as many times as Hijikata yelled and screamed at him in total infuriation, for as often as Sougo fired that goddamn bazooka at him, Hijikata just should not have done that to him.]

[A FEW DAYS LATER]

[Hijikata steered clear from Sougo afterwards, but since he promised Kondou to apologise to him he decided to write him a letter. It was difficult for him to sit down and try to put his sincere feelings into words. Sougo was the last person he ever thought he would write such a letter to. It took him three nights to contemplate, and in the end it came out as barely a shot note which he slid underneath the door of Sougo's room.]

Sougo,

I know no apology will be enough to undo what I did. If you want me to stay away from you I accept that. If there is anything I can do for you, let me know.

Hijikata

P.S: Don't tell me to die, I'm already undead.

[He doesn't really expect a response that isn't another assassination attempt - unless Sougo now hates him so much that he doesn't even want his blood on his hands anymore. This thought should bring him relief, but instead it makes his heart feel heavy and occupies his mind as he returns the the headquarters from his usual nightfall trip to one of the butchers who agreed to supply the Shinsengumi with surplus blood for the "blood-drinking Amanto" they are "keeping in long-term custody".]

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