firstsaderesponder

[Meanwhile, Sougo had no idea what had transpired. Around that time, he had kept an eye on Hijikata's apartment right across from him, but nothing of interest happened. It would've been nice if he had put more effort into stalking them both, but also...that would take effort. He's willing to put in that work for Hijikata, but not for the random Frenchman. So he kept holding on, hoping that eventually either one of them would start yelling at him after their disaster of a date.

Sougo replies to the text once he wakes up. Which is probably almost around noon.]

so did you two do it

[Let's get straight to the point here.]

[ By noon he's probably having a friendly lunch date. Unfortunately, the benign chime of an incoming message has him curious enough to check it during. The nation rolling his eyes is so obvious that he has to apologize and clarify he didn't intend it for his friend. Thankfully, they're almost done and France promptly texts back. At 1:30, give or take. 3? Who knows. ]

I don't kiss and tell, Sougo! We did have a rather nice conversation though. You may have been brought up... You know, I may be immortal but I hate it when people try to waste my time. What makes you think you can waste mine with whatever lover's quarrel you two have?

[ He'd not purchased space fugu at the time he'd contacted Hijikata at least. So, he's not out much beyond time but that's the argument, damn it. France had avoided even suggesting the word 'lover' in his conversation with Hijikata. He doesn't really believe them to be lovers, but if it inconveniences Sougo he's happy to do it. ]

[1:30 or 3:00? That's around the time of his afternoon nap. Maybe he'll even go and train a little after that nap. Either way, both France and Sougo have a flexible outlook on time, so France surely wouldn't mind if this text comes around dinner time.]

i'm gonna take that as a no

it's not a lovers' quarrel wtf. hijikata just needs to get laid. i should've known that was a no bc he's still pissy

[He's still pissy because he has to deal with you, Sougo.

His true intentions was to fuck with the both of them, but he'll play it a little more vague right now. Who knows what had transpired? Maybe France hasn't seen the full extent of how gross Hijikata is.]

[ He likes to sass with his post-dinner wine, anyway. This time he's a little more prompt so he doesn't have to chase Sougo's conversation across all hours of the day. ]

He's probably upset that you tried to poison him. Well, have me poison him. Considering my skill in the kitchen that was a poorly planned trick.

I'm just lucky that I am charming enough to not look like a fool for long. Perhaps you should take a page from my book?

[ France's relationship with the Gintama cast is so bizarre. Like, seriously. It gets his petty rocks off though. ]

[Hmm...Sougo will leave Francis on read for a little while. Hopefully make him squirm a bit.]

i only gave fugu as a suggestion you didn't have to make it or anything

a page from your book huh...so i should go look like a fool after all, then?

[Sougo wasn't aware of France's skill in the kitchen, but he assumed that otherwise France would be rich enough to get fugu (or any other exotic, potentially dangerous food) from a reputable source. Sougo wants to kill Hijikata himself, after all; however, manipulating others to scare Hijikata is a perfectly acceptable side hobby.

These texts have solidified to Sougo that France is on Hijikata's "side" (and no wonder); good luck dealing with the sadist duo.]

[ it takes more than a few minutes to make France squirm, but he appreciates that it doesn't come at 2AM. Sougo should also appreciate that he didn't do that, either. France doesn't like his beauty sleep interrupted by gremlins. ]

You said he was a fanatic! Clearly you do not know the first thing about catering to another person's interests, but that's a helpful tip. He said you were a sadist but I just think you're sloppy.

[If Sougo knew he could agonize France even more by leaving him on read for longer, that would be another tool in the arsenal. Alas, he'll get to it before he sleeps.]

well he is. if you thought he's normal then you don't know him that well

[France, France, France. Everyone in Gintama is a fanatic in some way or another.]

i don't really care what you think of me. clearly you weren't good enough to seal the deal with him

[Sougo leaves some very easy bait, but some people fall into these traps regardless. It's worth a try.]

The only reason he didn't take 'the bait' is that he knew that you were tied to the hook, my crooked friend. Honestly, you must run with an interesting crew. I've met Gintoki from your world as well. I can't tell if you all are just angry or bored. Maybe both.

[ France isn't taking the bait this time you damned catfish. For now he omits the fact that the conversation had led to the potential of meeting. Under their own circumstances. ]

Might I suggest baking as a hobby?

[Well. There it is. Sougo realizes the shortcoming in his plan quickly. Maybe next time he'll get a lackey to ask the target (read: blackmail/threaten someone he knows) or do it anonymously. Then again, he didn't put much effort into bidding on a date for Hijikata since Sougo knew he didn't have that much chroma anyways.

But next time...he'll be sure to plan things out more meticulously. He'll do it if it means getting his sadist rocks off.]

i'm just trying to have some fun. i can't speak for boss. [That is, Gintoki.] but hijikata-san is definitely angry tho

baking isn't my thing. i'm more into butchery. i can come over for a demonstration

[Is that a threat? It's definitely a threat, right?]

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